Willy and his unforgettable Angel

Am I that selfish?

I tried to hold her hand last night when I was driving her home.  She threw my hand away.  It hurt.  Perhaps she is not that love me.  Whatever she said was just to pacify me.  If so, what’s the point to begging her to be with me?  I want to be with her.  I am willing to give up whatever in my life…. or even my life, but she may not want it or even doesn’t really care.

Frankly, if I am unable to be with her finally, I can’t see what’s the point to stay in this space.  If as she believes, there is eternal life, why bother to suffer for this short journey?  I know that “sucide” is only a way that will make her miss me … and hate me.  Hence, this won’t be under consideration.  However, having some nice accident perhaps can be a good ending for me.

Make it practical, I should leave her sunddenly without any more begging. At least, this will save some miserable dinity for myself.  Then, after a while, when the time comes, some nice accident will end my pain.  So nobody will link she and me together.  So she will be able to enjoy her noble status and continue to give chance to that shit head.  And I will be able to enjoy my eternal life in hell, it will make nothing worse for me.

As she agreed to see me this Sunday, let me meet her one more last time.  Enjoy the last paradise, and I am ready for deteriorating my life.  I will hide away from her, as she wish.  I will stay with Exx, as she wish.  Then, after a while, when everyone get their wish, I will go …. as I wish.

So, GOD if you are listen to me (I bet that you don’t), I think you must be happy, since you can keep the noble status for your daughter and get rid of me this evil to interrupt the noble Christian marriage under your praise.

Well, everybody happy?  See you in hell!